Baby Love, my Baby Love..

So now that we know we're having a son,...(still so foreign to me say that, just as husband was when we were first married), this whole process is just getting better and better. Amazing to see the body of this creation within me and know that it is all an amazing gift from God, beyond anything we could ever imagine- such a bonding privilge of marriage. Overwhelming feelings of awe, fear, praise, love, anticipation all compete in my heart, mind, body and soul. Moments of guilt wave over me as I wonder if I've done everything I can for this little life who's had no chance at all to fend for himself regardless, yet comfort always follows right behind, assuring that God is greater than any little mishaps I'm responsible for, and completely in charge and in control of this life. I also cling to the hope that He wants to answer my prayers of faith to keep this little one perfectly healthy and whole with a simple breath.

My love for Rich has even grown in this process as together we walk blindly into this. Although we trust God as His hand is the one knitting our child together at this very moment. What an experience as I squeezed his hand, as we heard for the very first time what our very first child would be; while looking at his first pictures and rejoicing of the good news of his current status. For the first time we could say "our son.":) As I move into this stage of my life, I've watched in wonder at every little life that I encounter, something not to be taken for granted.

Songs and verses such as "How deep the Father's love for us" become more dear to me as I reflect on the love of my earthly father and his unconditional love, the love of our heavenly Father which is obviously greater than all, and then the love that I have for this little being that I can't wait to meet, hold and love.
God puts an innate mothering instict into us to love others- whether they be our own or others.' This love is only a glimpse of what we can only imagine God's great love to be like in our finite minds.

As I drove to work this morning the sunrise was shining so bright, and as I was thinking about the wonder of this child in me, I thought of how great it will be when we are in the presence and embrace of our heavenly Father, once and for all- eternally His. I can only imagine, but thank you God for this current picture of how great the love that you've given us really is.