How to end up in a German prison

I have been taken a missions class on; how to handle them, how to communicated, how to build relationships with those around you. I do live in a Westernize culture, but it is still different from my roots in some ways. There are similarities, but something’s will make you scratch your head as an “auslander”. I have decided to share the things that would put you on a most wanted list in Germany.
1. Start your car to warm it up for a while, without you in it. Let those fumes fill the air, and let the inside get really toasty. Then after 10 minutes go get in it and ride away.
2. Turn your heat on all day and night during the winter
3. Over light your house. Have more than a couple of lamps on at the same time.
4. Do not separate your trash accordingly…throw plastic in with the compost (that might get you put in prison)
5. Take a really hot shower
6. Tell them that global warming is a myth
7. In the Cashier line take your time, pay the cashier, and then load groceries slowly in the bags you brought.
8. Try to substitute your choice of a side on the menu for the one that is already given by the restaurant

Das geht ab

I was able to go to another fair, but this time I had learned to avoid the rides that spun around for 10 minutes straight. Growing up we never really went to big fairs and now that I think of it I have never been to a circus. I think the reasoning was because my dad is very nervous around big crowds because he doesn’t want to get in trouble or do something wrong and my mom always thought the fair people who put together the rides were irresponsible and not to be trusted. If we ever did go to a fair or something with games and food we were only given enough for half a hot dog, so it was never a really fun experience.
We were able to go with some people from our church who are in our age group. We walked around the whole fair grounds and while doing so I picked up some different snacks and was able to try some horse. It is a food that you must try before you die. The pastor we work with enjoys digesting his horse with a good “high ho silver” at the end of his meal. At first I found it a little strange that we were eating every little girls dream animal, but then I realized I have probably eaten dog or cat in my life, so horse had to be better.
During our loop around the fair ground we saw a huge tent with a band. We decided to go back because it seemed to be where the majority of the people were going. This place was packed with huge picnic tables with almost every seat taken. We found a table and I noticed that there was a great dance floor. I could not pass up this opportunity to dance with Julia, while listening to some great 80’s and early 90’s music. While we were up on the dance floor, I noticed while we were dancing that there was a man all by himself. He was a pretty old bald guy dancing like Michael Jackson trying to bust a move. At one point during the night I noticed he was attempting the moon walk. These were not common songs that you would break dance to, it was “Ache Breaky Heart”, sung by a guy in a cowboy hat with a half painted white face like the mask from Phantom of the Opera.
Later while we were there, we were able to hear some classic German songs, to which all of the people sing and dance to. The ages were from very young to very old. We joined in and acted like we knew the songs and what to do, the key is to mumble in the same tone as everyone else and no one knows. At the end of the night I thought what a need there is for all of these people to hear the Gospel and the need for churches to do it. We assume that everyone knows the Gospel story and the truth the Jesus has died on the Cross to take away sin to anyone who believe in him. The problem is that those assumptions can kill the fervor for missions. I pray that God will send laborers into the harvest because the fields are white, that truth is continually displayed to me each and every time I see a large gathering of people.

Harvest Time

This season of “Harvest” is one of my favorite. I appreciate the smells, sights, and tastes of all that come from it. We’ve already carved pumpkins, gone to a harvest “fair” like the rest of the fairs in the world really, with cheap toys you wouldn’t even want for free, and body-rotting-delicious, sugar-coated EVERYthing; and we’ve even been given riper than ripe grapes right on the vine from a lady in our church whose parents own a vineyard.

I was reading in John 15 when Jesus says that He is the true vine and His Father God is the vinedresser. Every branch that doesn’t bear fruit He takes away; and those that do, He prunes to bear even more fruit!
He tells us “abide in Me, and I in you,” as the branch cannot bear fruit of itself. He says without Him we can do nothing, and if we don’t abide in Him we wither and are thrown out. We may wonder “really nothing?” As a self driven society we must remember that truly all that we have and do is from and for Him.

I’m trying to create for myself an all inclusive picture of what being a “disciple” looks like, as we see much alluding in the Bible to what we are to “do.” Many of us know it is nothing we can do, but that once we receive full belief through Jesus’ mercy poured out on our lives, we show changes that evidence a difference. Our fleshly desires war against our new desires, but when we abide in Him and His Word, we bear fruit. God relieves us through His Word which only makes sense when we actually read it, after trying to reason with things that cannot be reasoned with alone in own sin infiltrated thoughts.

It’s only when we abide in Him and His Word, we may ask and receive, bear more fruit, and can glorify Him as His disciples. Disciples produce more disciples, so in our pruning process we must help one another stand firm to prove that which is truly His!

Let us drink with one another

Today I was able to partake in communion for the first time since being here. The thought did not occur to me that in Germany communion is a little bit different that what I am used to in the states. No, it was not with wine, we still had grape juice. I mean the way in which we partook as a “body of Christ”. I think I understand “being one body” a little bit better after today as well. They started the service, we read and sang together, then it was time to pass out the elements. We started just like it would start in the states with passing out the bread and we partook. After the bread the part came that would bind us together as a congregation, the drink. Julia and I are sitting in the back and realize they only have 2 cups. One was for one side of the room and the other for our side. Our side seemed to have a larger population of people. I saw Wilhms partake and then handed the cup to another elderly lady, at that moment Julia and I turn to each other and started giggling like little girls together. Then the thought crossed my mind if I could fake drink it or just drink it without putting my lips on it, to which my wife said, you can’t do that. For sanitation purposes they wipe it with a cloth at the mouth part, to try and ease your mind that it’s not germy. I don’t think if you sprayed the lip part with anti-bacterial spray it would make much of a difference, because we are all backwashing in one way shape or form. As the Elder passed it from row to row, it came time for me to partake. I was very nervous, it was show time, so I took it and thought, while in Rome do as the Romans do, and gulped it back. While I was drinking, I thought what would they do if I downed the whole thing? The thought made me laugh to myself and I knew I had to bury my head before Julia saw me laugh and had the juice go through her nose. When we were done, I thought how easy someone could say “they don’t have communion right”. I am guilty of that at times, posing American ideas of church on church. I continue to enjoy being in a foreign land that I am making home. It helps tear away “American ideas” and just truly following the Bible and what the Gospel truly is. It’s refreshing and very fun, the joy of missions. I would never trade these experiences in life for anything else. I can’t express how much fun Julia and I are having!

First week of Work

Well I have completed my first week of work. I am working with children in a before and after school program that ranges from 1st grade to 6th grade. This week they had me go to training sessions in the morning and in the afternoon went to the school age center to work with kids. The last training videos they had me watch were mostly made during the Ronald Reagan president term in office. You can usually date the videos because the men’s and women’s lenses in the glasses were so large, when they were done using them you were able to send them to a 3rd world country and use them for house building materials. Another hint was that the jeans were stone washed and rolled on the bottom, and more perms than the eye can see. I could also date the videos because the high tech graphics. At the time it was pretty sweet to rewind everything really fast and put some fast piano music to it.
When doing CPR training, I told my instructor my manikin was ok and didn’t need attention or it was to unsafe and I am unable to give him CPR. That didn’t fly and I had to perform CPR on Adult, Child, and infant manikins a couple of times. Now I am CPR certified and First Aid trained!
A couple of my training course that I had to take, were also attended by Germans. The beginning of one of the classes the teacher made us do some Yoga like stretches and breathing. She wanted us all to get into a zone and close our eyes. I had to peak around the class to see what the German thought of this and she had a very dumb founded look on her face. She was half heartedly doing the stretches and had her eyes opened and with a look that seemed as if she was wondering why the teacher for food handling was making us “reach for the sky and breathe in and out slowly”. I took this class with all women about food prep and handling and at the end they all decided to do the next class at a buffet, you can only imagine how side track they got talking about recipes of their favorite dishes.
The Afternoons that I had with the kids was very fun and encouraging. It is great when you play basketball with little kids and they ask you if you played professional and are compared to an NBA player because I can bounce a ball between my legs. I just simply reply “No, I had to give it up early in life, so I could come here”. The kids are also amazed at my Lego building experience. I tell them it took time and some practice, but they can build like me some day as well. I have also had the great opportunity to share why Julia and I are here and have been able to have some great conversations. Please continue to pray for us as we work our Jobs and continue to work within the church. It’s great to see God continue to provide and bring people into our lives that we may be a light to and share the Gospel with.

Detour

So as far as yesterday went, I hadn’t yet the opportunity to get lost in my new surroundings. I’ve always had ONE really frustrating experience each time I’ve moved, to discover roads that I’d rarely have taken on my own accord. Yesterday I made the notion that I’d wait to use the autobahn, and now day two of holding a new license, there was actually no way around it. After dropping Rich off for work, and thinking I had the whole morning to accomplish “my” agenda, I was thoroughly enjoying the breathtaking scenery of roads that are only suited for car commercials exposing the luxurious facets of the cars only our idolatrous eyes may gaze upon.

Well lo and behold, I had my first opportunity to encounter the new signs I now had to remember, and discuss the ‘Umleitung’ options with my fellow German roadmen. Whether I’m the new and ignorant American, or these Germans played a prank on me, I spent another involuntary hour in the car finding my way back to where I came from, and going in a huge circle until after three more people giving me directions for this detour, made my way more clear. Rich later said it sounded like a child’s storybook, as before I made it home I had come into contact with a construction worker, a store clerk, a taxi driver, and a ‘polizei.’ He also comforted that only this would happen to me, of which I believe is true. As I listened to the only CD we have in our little five gear auto, the words were quite ironic coming from the lips of David Crowder “just you and I,” referring to God and myself. It was true, a time to spend with Him that was unexpected, and the glory He’s adorned Himself with reflected in His creation of this beautiful country was the only redeeming factor to my madness.

I was able to observe the fall leaves that colored together reminded me of the frozen combination of peas and corn that I hated so much as a child. Random humorous circumstances can all too often turn out for our betterment, should we choose to see them that way. I must DAILY drop my agenda, not let the devil win in my anxious heart which fights for my own way or the highway, and let what comes, come as it may. I only feared my hubbie’s awe struck face were to tell him of the gas I wasted, but then again as our dear friend Michael here always remarks with a smirk; “Rich, what is the main point of ‘Calvinism?’ and to which Rich responds, “God’s sovereignty.” I told Rich if one of the greatest things we learn, relearn, and or remember from this internship with Michael is this ongoing reminder of God’s hand in our life, then we will look back with a smile and be all the more better for it:)

Autobahn..- not so fast;/

Today I passed my German driver's license test. I learned something very inciteful; to study more than one time proves to be a good thing. I humbly admit I failed the first time, but only by two I have to disclaim. I feel a little more official as one who holds a new license in a new land, lets just hope I remember all the new rules! And as far as the autobahn goes, I think it's good if I avoid the passing lane there these first few months.

We went to our first mid week Bible study of which turned out to be cancelled due to the 'herbstfeiren' or fall break detaining many members. What was going to be our first 'hauskreis' ended up being a spontaneous movie night we imposed on our friends holding the what was going to be this 'hauskreis.' We watched "Marley and Me" for the second time; yet the first time 'auf Deutch.' They say this is good to do, to watch movies you know in the language you're learning, which supposively helps you much. Although very sad, I have to admit there is a lack of emotion emitted from a language that is not your own. It will be sometime, I believe, before we receive the eloquence that dresses communication when it is ordered just so. But the relationships we build in the process and the bit by bit we learn are all part of the road that leads to "Rome."
It will be built; we will learn this language:)

The greatest thing

The greatest thing about the call to follow Christ is taking the love that we've been given around the world. We love the family and friends he's given us, but can't imagine not testing the waters of foreign missions, as the world is an exciting place full of people in need; both physically and spiritually. We desire to fill a need where it is most needed, but the problem with that is that there is not necessarily one need that is greater than another in terms of which "place" or "people" to reach out to.

While heart strings are pulled when distance is a factor, nothing can stop a heart with a passion to do what it's been set on. While the spiritual need is the most present in a land like western Europe, we see ongoing news reports of those without homes who could probably live a lifetime on the money that we only hope to pay of the rest of our loans with. So then the question is in mind, "should we go where we know our help would be so gladly recieved first for the physical, and then spiritual? For Jesus said " when you fed the poor, you also fed me; and gave the thirsty a drink, you did also me." The poor are in need of help and love, and are more recieving to the Gospel for their souls because they see the destruction that is able in this world. When rich eyes can't get past what's in front of them, they see little need to draw upon a spiritual need and future that they believe is likely years away for them.

Well the beauty of the body of Christ is that when move away from loved ones, we still keep their contact and prayers with us. We are more empowered by those who are lifting us up in prayer, and we reciprocate that cooperation through communication with them and for them through prayer.

We can continue our life where we believe best, and still take up opportunities to take the church we now congregate with and meet the needs of those in the countries that they too can reach out to both physically and spiritually. We are all one body, and we are more empowered by the work that we can now as two different nations, bring together to serve a third wherever that is. We pray the Lord will use us here to continue the passion for missions that has taken us here, and use it to serve alongside them, the other nations who are in need.

This is eloquently put in Psalms 96 "Sing to the Lord all the earth. Declare His glory among the nations, His wonders among all peoples!"

Saving my hair...

Today I started my job which was huge! It is awesome to see how God worked out everything and continues to place us where He wants us. Yesterday before I started my job I figured I should go get a haircut. I went to a German place that is owned by a member of our church. This would be my first hair cut here in Kusel and my 2nd one I have ever had in German. For some odd reason there is a theme in my life when it comes to haircuts by people that do not speak English. When we lived in St. Pete, I found a place right by my neighborhood that was a yellow building that said, “hair and nails”. It was a cheap ($7 a cut) Korean haircutting place, that oddly enough sold random pieces of jewelry, dvds, and electronic equipment that looked like it was ripped from people’s houses or car’s. The only words they knew in English were, money, numbers, shorter, or longer, and a couple more that were random. I received one of the worst haircuts of my life there from a man by the name of “Uncle”. He shaved my head and only left the bangs and seemed enthralled at how wonderful it looked. I ended up shaving my head after that one and had to another time when I lived in Scranton (a country of its own). Those times in my past I would feel nervous when I would get my hair cut because I didn’t want to have to “lose” what I had worked so hard for. I was frightened to lose something that would grow back, kinda like Uncle Jesse from Full House, loving my hair. I have since that time in my life cared far less if they mess up or something goes wrong where I have to lose it all again, because I know it will come back, and if it doesn’t its only hair. Now we look at that idea of protecting our precious hair as silly in over all view of life, because we know it is very temporal. That thought brought me to think about our lives here on earth. If we look at our lives in history they are a mere vapor. This body is temporal and this life time on this earth during your 80 years or however it is, is only temporal. As a Christian we have the hope of eternity spent with Jesus and should continue to think, “to live is Christ and to die is gain”. Why do we make such a big deal about our physical lives on this earth? If it is only temporary why are we not taking our lives and using them and as resources to reach the world for Christ? These thoughts continue to burn in my mind as I read the book, “the Costly Call”. It’s about people reaching the unreached with the Gospel. Some were brutally beaten, forsaken by family, and scared for life. They would say, It was worth it because they wanted to lay hold of the eternal, Jesus Christ. When they had a relationship with Christ their lives changed and they used every resource they had materially and physically to reach the unreached. The song of one of my friends continues to play in my mind when I read the book, “What are you saving your life for”. We have one life here, why not use it for Christ to do something out of the ordinary? (no that is a old haircut I had in the summer)

Budgie-

Have you ever heard of a budgie?

Today my tutor-ee learned the British word "budgie." As we read through his vocab list, I came upon this word and to my knowledge believed it was not in our American vocab. So asking a fellow pastor here, he directed me online, believing it was the word for 'parakeet,' and sure enough it was. So then as we proceeded with our lesson, each time the word "budgie" came up, I'm pretty sure Nick wasn't quite sure why I was laughing, but I just could not help but find these random and few British words so different and so humorous. I still don't know if I pronounced it right, but regardless, we both learned a new word today:)

What we have done in a month

A month ago we left…
We first just want to thank everyone for praying for our journey here in Germany. We have seen God do so many amazing things already. Our major prayer request was for Julia and I to get jobs and to get our visas. Both of those things happened very quickly and we are amazed how quick God moved. We have not worked yet, but I am hoping to start on Friday after I get my finger printing done. Julia and I will both be working with children in a before and after school program. I can not tell you how many times we have been to the military base that we are working at. It seems like every couple of days we have been there to do paper work or to wait in a waiting room for medical clearances. We have had plenty to do as we have been waiting to start our jobs. I have a full load of seminary that I continue to work on and Julia is tutoring a boy in English 3 times a week. On top of that we are trying to learn German, which we will rev up when we get a routine schedule. We have made so many great connections with people inside and outside the church. We don’t lack things to do during the week, we are lacking time to fit it all in. Here is what we have done in our first month and is how you can continue to pray for us…

1. Received our visas
2. Received jobs that enable us to work at night with the churches events
3. I have gotten my German drivers license (Julia is going for hers tomorrow, pray!)
4. Massive piles of paper work that drive you crazy
5. I fined tuned my stick shifting skills (Julia already knew how)
6. Fixed the car we were given
7. Made many connections with people that Lord willing will only grow!
8. Painted our apartment
9. Went to IKEA
10. Drove to France for fun one day (we live only 30 minutes from there)
11. Told the glories of a horse sausage and was rebuked for not eating one yet
12. Disco slides
13. Fussball game

Prayer Request

1. Learn the language
2. For our group that we will be trying to start here in the near future
3. Spiritual wisdom
4. Job’s will be fun!
5. More people to be missionaries

We are in awe of the work that God continues to do here in Germany. Please continue to pray to where he might lead us in the future here! Thank you again for your prayers, they are felt and are coveted.

waterloo

Last night I had the great opportunity to go to the “schwimm bad” or the indoor swimming pool. Julia was invited to go to a girls house for a tupper ware party and her husband was going to the pool. He invited me to go to the pool with him and his son. He speaks only German so this was a great opportunity for me to practice. The problem with my German is that I can only have small conversation if someone usually asks me questions, and I can essentially repeat them back like a parrot. I have a hard time forming questions that merit more than a one word or short phrase response. We arrived at the pool and I end up following this man around because I am not sure what the customs are in Germany for pool educate. Finally after some confusion about whether or not I already had my swimming suit on, I went to the showers. As I tried turning the shower knob for a while, nothing came out and I had to ask for help. He showed me that they were motion sensors and then it comes out. I had the temperature set to freezing cold so it was a nice present when I turned the shower, as let out a shreek as it hit my nice warm exposed skin. Then we made our way to the pool area. I went and dove in and swam some laps and then got out and sat next to him and some other people. They then asked me to go down this huge slide with them. This slide was like a huge water park slide. Not only was it huge, but for some reasons the German culture loves disco tech music and disco tech lights. This slide had speakers as you go down and disco lights that changed colors that made you want to dance as you slid down. I had never seen anything like this. The slide was so fun and fast, I felt like Napoleon from the movie “Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure”. I acted like I had never gone on a slide before. I was running up the stairs and was tempted to push the slow walkers aside. After I had gone down the slide about 13 times, no joke it burned a little hole in my swimming trunks because of the speed and number of times. I decided it was time for the hot tub. As I was sitting in there with some of the people we were with, I noticed the plethora of Speedos; every shape, size, and color. If there was ever a shortage and there was need for Speedos in another country, I think we could send the relief aid. My eye’s needed to be washed after we were in the hot tub and a very old rather large man, with a very selfish and small black Speedo decided to join us. I had a great time swimming and getting to know the people and they invited me to go next week again with them. No one I was with, wore a Speedo, but there is peer pressure to get one….so you never know, maybe I will have to put on one, because as Paul was all things to all men, I must be all things to all men, even if that means Speedo wearing.

Throw me over board

I would call myself the Jonah of sports. It was because of Jonah that a beautiful day for sailing turned into a horrible storm. When they realized that it was Jonah who brought these troubles to their ship they threw him over board. The reason I call myself the Jonah of sports, is not the fact that since I have started being interested in sports at a young age, I have never seen any team I like win a championship or have a successful winning percentage. The reason I deem myself the Jonah of sports, is because my effect on the fussball club team we live by. I went to one game and we won, which put us in first place. It was after that game that I became more interested and to paid closer attention. Today they had a game against the worst team in their league. It would be like UNC playing North Carolina technical school. It was supposed to be a very easy win. We decided to go to the local doner kebab place to watch it. They have a great sign out front that is made out of cardboard that says, “every goal, every game” written in black magic marker. We knew we could count on a place like this to catch our beloved Kaiserslautern. As we strolled in, the regulars one by one followed in and sat in their usual seats. They ordered what they probably always order and started smoking their cigarettes so that we could take away 3 months of our lives from the second hand smoke. The game started and I kid you not within the first 17 seconds the other team scored a goal. We were in shock and at that point, I knew it was me. This city had never seen something like this, so I stood up and shouted for them to throw me out of the restaurant and into the river because it was my fault! They picked me up and did as I asked. I’m just kidding, but seriously they did. The team came back and tied the game. It ended in a tie, but the curse of Rich’s teams lives on. It was a great experience to enjoy a game with Micha, Lukas, Janna, and Julia. I am just hoping the German national team does not suffer because of my residency in the country. (and yes that is a picture of my brother in law Luke who use to be a Redskins fan)

Contagious

Julia and I like to watch tv as we walked around our house and get ready in the morning or if we are getting prepared for something. We watch it not because we have a favorite show or can understand the shows, but to try and help us learn German. In Germany they will take an American comedy and dub over with German voices. Usually when we watch one of these shows you will hear one us yell out words that are familiar to us like this morning, Julia yelled out, “butcher!” This morning we saw the show “The Nanny”. If you have never seen the show you aren’t missing anything. The ladies voice makes you want to be at a 6th grade flute recital for beginners instead of listening to her. I do not know if it was because I couldn’t understand what was going on because of the language, but I noticed that in this comedy at the end of every sentence there was a laugh track that went off. I kid you not, at the end of every sentence there was a laugh track, even when she said, “hello” as she entered the room. The reason why they add these laugh tracks to these awful comedies is because they are hoping that this laughter will be contagious. It will make you think it’s funny and maybe make you laugh at it. The thought of being a contagious came to mind. I think of the life of Paul in Acts 16. He was put in prison and had everything going against him. He was just beat and his response was to sing and praise God. It said that the whole jail heard him and Silas and after the Lord freed them, the jailor ran in and asked what he might to do be saved. Paul’s love for Jesus gave him a joy that was different from other people. The Gospel should change our lives to the point where our lives look different to the outside world. We have a hope in Jesus Christ, we have an eternal joy that is ever lasting! I am convicted because many times when I should be exemplifying Gospel joy, I exemplify a bad attitude. Julia and I have been in many waiting rooms and have had a lot of paper work to do here in Germany, and I will admit I have not always had the greatest attitude. What is great is that we are continually given opportunities to take up our Cross and follow Jesus daily. I hope that we as Christians live a life that makes the watching world, ask of the hope that is in us that we may give an answer for that hope.