Motives

So as we often discuss with people who are yet to be married, or now have been for sometime, the topic of 'motives' driving this union inevitably come up. We all have our grounds for 'why' we do the things that we do, and can argue quite reasonably (at least I'd hope so). But sometimes our reasoning sounds so good in our heads, while out loud really just stinks.

We just got through a sermon series at our church going through Ephesians, and of course then ending on the topic of spiritual warfare in chapter 6.

Well one of the tactics of spiritual warfare which I believe bids us much frustration in life, is that of our very own thought life and self talk. Ephesians 6 tells us that we must prepare for the battle we are fighting against the enemy; taking on faith, which quenches the fiery darts of the wicked one. And so we must drown out also, the ways of selfish talk that comes from every angle around us, predisposing us to a life of unhappiness while seeking self gratification 24/7.

How hard it is, for us to forget ourselves, and put others in front of our pressing desires so natural to strive for. Within reason, we of course must maintain what we must to live and be able to serve; but then as in most relationships, with marriage it is supposed to be about the 'giving,' and not so much the taking (although receiving on the other end does make for an easier time together).

We read books, including the Bible, influencing our ways of thought and helping us transform our innate pursuit of egotism, and slowly we realize that it is more blessed to give than to recieve, that encouragment indeed breeds reciprocal encouragment, doing to others often ends up in the same treament being directed back, and so on.

But behind the motives of anything can still creep in slightly selfishly hinted desires. Money, recognition, and of course love, are not bad things, but alone can drive us to stomp on those we love to receive them; which in turn does just exactly opposite of what was initially intended.

And so as in marriage, I often wonder how much of our minds are really ready to just lay down all we are, when at the marriage alter, to ensure that this person we share our vows with will enjoy their life to the best of their ability, and become better through it. As Christ followers we are to take up our cross and die to our own self while putting others first, as His love allows us to do. If we focus on His sacrifice and our purpose in this life, it is easiER, and much more then gratifying for all!

God help us remember that! If we don't, we will suffer, for noone is more miserable that those who are in a rutt to seek out the best life for theirself. Even the most moral of human beings regardless of spiritual beliefs knows this. And so as those who know the very God of heaven and earth who has given us a real purpose in life AND death, we must live in reflection of His sacrificial love and mercy to those both deserving and undeserving; for we ourselves, also are not deserving for such love. It is mercy we've been given, and so we must give it back!